Download The Color of Magic 2008: How to Overcome Sexual Dissatisfaction

The world of dating and relationships can be filled with surprises, but few are as unexpected as sexual dissatisfaction. Despite our best efforts to create a fulfilling and intimate connection with our partners, bad sex is a common phenomenon that many of us experience at some point in our lives. In this article, we'll explore the reasons behind this disconnect between the sex we know we could have and the sex we actually have.

One of the main culprits behind bad sex is a lack of comfort and familiarity. When we're in new relationships or haven't been intimate with our partner for a while, it's natural to feel nervous or unsure about how to approach each other. This can lead to awkwardness, discomfort, and ultimately, bad sex.

Another factor that contributes to sexual dissatisfaction is the influence of mainstream pornography on our expectations. Porn often depicts unrealistic and unattainable standards of sexual performance, leading many of us to feel like we're not measuring up. A 28-year-old cis straight woman shared her experience with me, saying, 'I've had most of my casual, consensual sex in the meh-to-bad range... it's usually because they watch a lot of mainstream porn and expect things that just aren't realistic.'

Laurie Mintz, a professor of human sexuality at the University of Florida and author of Becoming Cliterate, believes that millennials and Gen Z-ers are the most sexually misinformed generations due to the unprecedented accessibility of misinformation. This lack of accurate information can lead to unrealistic expectations and unfulfilling sexual encounters.

So, what can we do to overcome sexual dissatisfaction? One approach is to prioritize communication with our partners. By talking openly about our desires, needs, and boundaries, we can create a more fulfilling and intimate connection. Another important step is to explore sexual autonomy and take ownership of our own pleasure. This may involve experimenting with new techniques, exploring different types of sexual expression, or seeking out professional guidance from sex therapists.

As a professional sex writer, I've grappled with the disconnect between the sex I know I could have and the sex I actually have. Despite my extensive knowledge of human sexuality and my own personal feminism, I've experienced my fair share of medium to very bad sex. But by acknowledging the issues and taking steps to address them, we can work towards creating more fulfilling and intimate connections with our partners.

In conclusion, sexual dissatisfaction is a common phenomenon that affects many of us at some point in our lives. By understanding the factors that contribute to bad sex, such as lack of comfort and familiarity, unrealistic expectations, and misinformation, we can take steps to overcome these issues and create more fulfilling and intimate relationships. Whether you're looking to improve your communication skills, explore sexual autonomy, or simply find more pleasure in your sexual encounters, there's hope for a better future.

Download the color of magic 2008